exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
