I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My Higher Power is John Stamos
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
