just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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