Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
