So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
