white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
