Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
