Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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