He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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