She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I could have mohawked her pubes.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
