we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
