I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
