so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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