i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
