At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
