Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
