I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
