thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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