I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
