Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Drunk is not a location!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
