If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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