i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
