If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
