We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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