Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
