this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
