a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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