Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
