my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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