If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
