oh god the rape fog is back!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
