he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
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