I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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