would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
