just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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