Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
