Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We named our party play list daddy issues
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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