Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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