I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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