who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
