Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
where are my eyebrows?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
