A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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