She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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