I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
