dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
