Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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