Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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