she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
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