i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
