Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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