when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
vagina is talking i cant
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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