We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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