Can Purell be used as lube?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Found your dick twin last night
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
